Tuesday, September 29, 2015

A Fatal Attraction

A Fatal Attraction
The Moses Herzog Story
If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Moses Herzog.  While his name was Moses few people called him that anymore.  Moses Herzog was a hobo, and most people mostly just referred to as Mo or Herzog the Hog.  His home was a box and he only had one pair of clothes, but you should not feel too bad for old Mo because he was a murderer and a thief.  In truth he was a monster who did what it took to survive.  After he got out of prison he went into a life of poverty and continued in his life of crime, but he did not go at it alone.  His accomplice was none other than the infamous giraffe Rico Sanchez. 
                Mo and Rico met during their shared jail time and got acquainted quickly because not only where they cell mates, but Mo loved giraffes, and he loved Rico.  When they both got out they decided to meet up and take the world by the tail and wrestle around with it.  In the beginning, Mo thought of Rico as a friend, maybe even as a brother, but as they got closer his feelings grew more.  Mo started to realize that he did not want to live without Rico, but he knew they could not be together.  None the less, Rico and Mo could not be closer, and while Rico had affection for Mo he was a sociopath so it was only out of self-gain that they stayed together. 
                One night when they were planning to rob a bank Mo got the idea to confess his love to Rico, because he just could not hold it in anymore.  One knows they are in love when they don’t want to dream because their reality is better than their dreams.  So while they were planning the robbery Mo let the cat out of the bag, and Rico was mortified, it was one ugly cat.  He told Mo that he was not interested, and had a side bae named Foxy Pachino.  Instead of feeling despair, all Mo felt for Rico was hatred.  As tears filled his eyes he stormed out and left their hideout.  When he came back for his things Rico was gone along with all of Mo’s possessions.  Something snapped inside of Mo in that moment, something came out of him that only a giraffe like Rico Sanchez could bring out in a man.  Hatred turned to rage, and Mo went searching for the giraffe he once loved.
                He knew he would find him with her.  The one who stole him from him.  As Mo walked up to the door he broke it down and went straight into the bedroom.  He found them there, and caring nothing but a knife Mo killed Foxy, while Rico tried to run away.  In the hustle and bustle of the murder Mo tried to throwing knife that beanbag named Rico, so he threw it and hoped for the best. The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off.


Monday, September 28, 2015

Opening and Closing quotes

"If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Moses Herzog."

This quote is the opening line of Herzog by Saul Bellow, and it follows a jewish man named Moses as he goes through a midlife crisis in the 60's.  The book was published on September 21st, 1964, and it has won some awards and titles.  I would probably not read this book because it seems like it would be really dry, if it is just about a guy writing letters after his second divorce.

"The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off."

This quote is from the book Catch 22 by Joseph Heller.  Published on November 11, 1961, the book takes place in World War II and follows the airmen of the fictional 256th squadron.  The book is considered one of the best books written in the 20th century and is famous for it's obscure timeline and chronology.  I would probably read this book because I enjoy reading famous books, and it seems like it would be pretty good.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Chip Nuts: The Squirrel, The Legend

                    When I was a boy I knew I was destined for great things.  I couldn't tell you how I knew but I did.  On my way to the top there where haters, not gonna lie, but like I always say "haters are my motivators".  My name is Chip Nuts, and I was the first squirrel to go to college, and this is my legacy.  
                    I grew up in an upper middle class squirrel home.  My childhood home was a sturdy oak tree and my parents had normal squirrel lives.  I was an only child, but my brother Barry was my best friend.We had good times as kids, going out and gathering nuts, and storing them in our cheeks.  those where the good days, the days I look back on and remember being happy.  But something isn't beautiful because it lasts forever.  One day while me and Barry where collecting nuts he got it in his head to cross the road.  Sometimes Barry could be a real dumby.  And he decided to cross to late.  He was hit by a mini van, and I watched him die.  I had to tell my ma and pa.  Those where dark days.  I started drinking, and I lost myself for a while.  The thing that brought me back was the pool table at the local bar.  The first few times I played I was pretty good, but I got a lot of hate because they all said a squirrel couldn't play pool.  That was my motivation.  I practiced every day after that and slowly came off the booze.  The game of pool was my saving grace.  
                       Eventually I started playing for money and helped my parents out with a little financial problem.  The stock market crash in '08 hit us all hard.  Eventually I started playing in regional and national tournaments.  Being a squirrel gave me a competitive advantage, because no one expected to be playing a squirrel.  In 2010 I won my first national tournament.  After that I started receiving letters from Stanford asking me to join their team and I could go to school for free.  That was when I realized I could go to college.  "You can't play pool" they said, "you can't go to college" they said.  "Don't let your dreams be dreams" - Shia Labeouf.
         

Quotes


"Any cheese before a date is too much cheese"

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Writers as Readers

1. When ever I am reading I do not like to sit by windows because the glare makes it hard for me to stay focused. I do not normally eat anything before I eat do not eat while I read.  As far as environments go I think I am most comfortable at a desk with the book laying on the desk, but sometimes I will read in a chair or in my bed.  The ideal environment is at a desk though.

2.  I like reading books that I know have symbolism, and trying to find it in the text.  Specifically I enjoy reading books with christian symbolism, because I am a christian.  As far as genres go I do not really have a preference.  I like reading books that where written a long time ago, and enjoy lyrical writing and the old style language that uses thy's and thee's.  Now I will only read something that I know will mean something deeper, something for a class, and certain classics that spark my interest.

5.  A book series that I could not put down was the Lightning Thief series, which where my favorite books back in the day.  It was the first book that I had ever read that made me desire to read more.  I consider the first book that got me into reading.  The book was like watching an awesome movie that went on for a really long time, and you could stop and pause to come back whenever you wanted.  I remember liking it so much that I was proud to put the book on my desk when I went to school.  On the other hand a book that was hard to get through was A Tale of Two Cities.  That book was quite boring, and I eventually just gave up on it.

7.  The first book I remember reading cover to cover was a "Bailey School Kids" book about a werewolf at a summer camp.  " Bailey School Kids" if you have never read it is basically a worse version of goosebumps, and less scary.  The book intrigued me at the time but looking back on it it was probably terrible.  I remember the plot was these campers thought one of their counselors was  werewolf because they heard howls at night and he had a lot of hair and ate a lot of meat.  In the end it turned out the counselor was just a hairy guy who liked to eat meet, and there wolves in the woods.  That's how terrible it was. But I still read it and felt pretty accomplished when I did.
   

 

Memorable Passage

“There is no other day. All days are present now. This moment contains all moments.” 
- C.S. Lewis  The Great Divorce


                    I think about this quote a lot from day to day.  When I first read it it was hard for me to understand but I got it eventually.  I took it to mean that if a christian is not actively searching God one day, then they will not be very inclined to do it the next.  Basically, if your too lazy to do it today you will not do it tomorrow.  I think about it often even in things that do not apply to Christianity.  I think about the most when I feel like I just do not want to do work but should for my best interest.   

Monday, September 21, 2015

If I Were in Charge of the World Poem

If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel cold showers,
dentist appointments,
boring books, and also
diced onions

If I were in charge of the world
there'd be more drumlines,
longer winters, and
cooler weather

If I where in charger of the world
you wouldn't have homework.
You wouldn't have eyes that get heavy.
You wouldn't have dried up kraft mac and cheese.
Or "I'm too hot."
You wouldn't even have hot, the high would be eighty only a few days in the summer

If I were in charge of the world
pasta would be a vegetable.
All colleges would be free.
And someone who sometimes forgot to answer every question
and sometimes messed up
would still be allowed to be
in charge of the world.